German Flat (Anti) Jokes | Get Germanized


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German Flat (Anti) Jokes | Get Germanized



Here are some of the best (worst) German flat (anti) jokes! Enjoy! Or not! 😀 Let me know about your favourite anti jokes in the comments!

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Learn German, get to know Germany and German culture and have fun doing so! My videos are directed at native English speakers that want to learn about my country, its language and culture online for free! Put your dictionary and grammar books away and start studying with me instead!
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30 Comments

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  1. Wie nennt man einen Titan der nicht schwimmen kann? Titanic!

    How you call a Titan wich can't swimm? Titanic

    Was macht der Dieb im Zirkus? Clown!

    What does the thief Do in the Circus? Clown!

  2. I apologize if anyone finds this joke offensive, but here’s an anti-joke:

    Why did Mary fall off the swings?
    Because she had no arms!

    Knock-knock.
    Who’s there?
    Not Mary.

  3. you are hilarious! ich bin mexikanisch aber ich derzeit in florida USA leben 🙂 
    I laughed so much with the Carlos joke I learnt it by heart the first day I heard it. Your channel is awesome, I had been using audio lessons for a year and other ways of learning but I had never encountered such an efficient way of learning German that includes phrases and content that one would actually want to use in a conversation. 
    Cheers!!

  4. Here is a nice german joke.. In the Doctors practice. "Sagen Sie Mal, haben Sie vergessen,dass Ich schon seit zwei Minuten mit ausgestreckter Zunge hier stehe?". Fragt die Patientin. "Nein, aber Ich wollte in Ruhe das Rezept schreiben". Translation-: "Tell me Doc, have you forgotten that I´ve been standing here for two minutes with my tongue stuck out?". Asked a female Patient. "No,but I wanted to write the recept i n peace and quiet".

  5. Why are there no aspirins in the jungle?
    Because it wouldn't be economically viable to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely uninhabited rainforest

    How do you sink an Irish submarine?
    The most common method is with a torpedo, but as Ireland is a neutral country this would be against the Geneva Convention

    Why couldn't Cinderella play football?
    Because glass slippers are totally unsuitable footwear for sport

    How do you make a sausage roll?
    You start by rolling out puff pastry, then wrap it round sausage meat and put it in the oven to bake

    Knock knock
    Come in

    If a blonde and a redhead jump off a cliff at the same time, who hits the ground first?
    They both hit the ground at the same time – hair colour doesn't affect acceleration due to gravity

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